Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Michael Jackson: my inspiration to be a better person!

WOW, its been a while…
I am sorry for not keep to my words and keep updating my blog as I told you I would… but at the end of the day there’s so much happening all the time and didn’t find the time to update you all.
Today, I finally decided to return and post something that is being on top of my head, thoughts, feelings... for the last days.

You all that know me, also know my love for Music. You know my dedication for people and hopefully know about my values and morals, and how much I care for the world, specially for the children.

I always say how proud I am for being raised for a wonderful family that taught me about the world… But I have always mentioned that my values and morals came not just from my family but from a collection of situations, institutions, experiences, and mainly people. From different people, people like my sisters, people like my aunts, people like my friends, people like my teachers or people like my idols, my heroes, my role models. Those people made a major contribution of the person I became, the person I AM TODAY.

I have grown up with those heroes, heroes that were imposed to me by the society, such as Jesus.. or heroes that I have found during the path of my life, like after watching a movie, or read a book, see the news, or even watch a documentary heroes like Martin Luther King, and Mahatma Gandhi, that were a big influence when I was growing.. there was also Madre Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Dalai Lama… people that do good, people that spent the life fighting for a noble cause, people that made a difference, a difference that will always remain. And they were famous because of that. They were political figures, or religious ones that were remarkable and I am very glad that had them as a heroes and I have been following their values.

Well, I guess I was lucky enough to find others, other heroes to me. People that also did good, people that have been fighting for a cause, people that were a very positive influence to me as a human being.

So I would like to tell you all, that one of the biggest influences to me was Michael Jackson. Yes, Michael Jackson was and he will always be a hero to me.
The first contact I had with MJ, was with his music.. I was so young, but I loved it. The melodies, his voice.. everything was so magic about him… He made me wanna dance, he made me wanna sing… he made me fell in love with Music, and since then POP has been my image. Anyone that knows me associates me with Pop…. I keep hearing everyday stuff like: “Oh, I heard a song of the Spice Girls and that reminded me of you” , or “I saw Madonna was going to perform in London and I knew you would be there”, or “ I saw this picture of Lady Gaga in the newspaper and that made me think of you” ….

Last week I heard something new.. something similar, but a new sentence that I haven’t heard before, the person told me: “ I heard the news, Michael Jackson died, and the first thing I thought was you”

Yeah, Michael Jackson died for some people, but to me he will live forever, because he was my inspiration. As far as I live, and my ones, I will keep follow his message, and I will keep try to heal the World and save the Earth.

But why Michael Jackson was inspirational for me?
Yes, I loved his music, his rhythm, his voice, but when I started to grow older and understand MJ's lyrics, was when I started to understand why he was so huge, why he was so amazing.

I was privileged enough to be raised on a open minded family and always had access to culture. My parents always allowed us to watch TV but we would select what we wanted to watch, we always were allowed to read books or magazines, but we were lucky to have access not to tabloids just, but to decent journalism.
So I was lucky enough to create my own opinion about Michael Jackson through the years.

I have no words to explain everything he represented to me, but let me tell you, as a person, as a human being, Michael Jackson is the one in the top of my list.
To me, no one ever had helped the world like he did, and no one else tried to heal the world like he did.
Apart of being the biggest Music Genius this world ever had, and the proof is out there, well, just research the numbers and you will see no one was even close of what he achieved, not even Elvis Presley or The Beatles.
Michael Jackson was also the biggest heart that tried to share his LOVE message, specially about loving children!

I could spend days here writing to try to say everything I know about him and how much I like him and how much he inspired my life.

I had a dream, to see and feel my hero performing.
In a few weeks I was finally going to achieve it, see the King in action here in London.
Now he is gone... its so painful, he was the ultimate human being. The biggest heart, huge soul. The victim of his own success: “as biggest the star, as biggest the target”
Michael was misunderstood… During all this years people keep misunderstanding his actions, his being….
He lived his life in the ways of Christ, became a legend at a heavy price and now he was crucified.

Unfortunately we live in a mad world, with evil people. Also we have many ignorant and pathetic people, people with no education, with no culture, no standards, no values, no morals…
And today, I am writing here, not just to tell you how much I am sad and hurt for the loss of one of my heroes, but also to tell how mad I am about having people, worst: people that I know, in the circle of my friends… people that I would consider intelligent, that actually are just delusional and ignorants.

I just would like to ask to all those who still determine that Michael Jackson was guilty of the supposed sex abuse crimes, did you ever bother to research the mounds upon mounds of evidence proving his innocence????????
It is so easy for losers who will make absolutely nothing with their lives to judge others.
Depressed, unhappy people believing the worst of others.

And seriously? I am not interest in people like that in my circle of friends…
I believe that we all are free to have our opinions, but I cannot respect ignorant that don’t even try to find the true.
People that rather believe in tabloids than in the evidences. The same tabloids that called him a child molester, are the same ones that claim him as a hero now… how disturbing? Stop and think. You have a brain, try to use it.

So make me, actually, make YOU a favor and get some facts correct, research, study, do something for God sakes, but stop being an ignorant. Then you can come and talk to me.
I also had my doubts, I also had my concerns, I also wanted answers, and now even feel ashamed that I could think things that were negative.. Like I remember me and my sister Dana talking about his color change … and we used to say we didn’t understand why he wanted to be white… but once u look for answers you will find them … and I am not giving them to you, I am gonna ask you to go and find your own answers! Now I feel ridiculous for even put that thought in my head: why he wanted to be white... silly me! But like he said "Don't you black or white me"!

Michael did sooo much for the world and children.... He spent his life going to hospitals and orphanages all around the world visiting the sick and giving them hope! He saved so many lives...
Michael truly was amazing and it is sooo sad that the media hardly covers anything great he did and brought to the world
SHAME on the media and to those who don’t appreciate Michael for who he truly was and what he brought to the world.

As for me, I know that Michael Jackson will live forever, and I feel so blessed that I have lived in his era. And one day I will have children, and grandchildren… and I will tell them all about the most amazing human being and kindest artist this world ever had, and tell them he was the King of the Pop. He led and we followed. He was the one that wrote the most beautiful songs, and he was the one healing the world.

You will always be my inspiration, I will always try to be a better person as you requested
R.I.P my King, your music will leave forever and so your soul.

Rev. Al Sharpton to Michael Jackson children: “There was nothin weird about your daddy! It was weird what your daddy had to go through!”

Probably the greatest sentence I ever heard in the last years!
My heart his with his children, family and real fans.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

"Song For A Friend" by Jason Mraz

Like some of you ask me, here's a little sneak of the amazing show I attended on Sunday!
Just listen carefully, enjoy the music and be afraid, because you might become a fan

Jason Mraz "Song For A Friend" @ Hammersmith Apollo, London, April 5, 2009!
Recorded by me and a friend (ignore my voice on the background :p)

I also want to dedicate this song to my good old friend P.

(sis this is for you, like I did 3 years ago, remember =p ??? )

Click here to see the complete setlist of the show

also if u are a music/live gigs lover, you are going to love this website


Monday, 6 April 2009

Another night with Jason Mraz!


What can I say, what a night!!!

Last night I went to see one of my favourite singers, composers, musicians, performers well, he got the all package really, a real artist: Jason Mraz.

Probably a familiar name to some of you... he got “commercially” famous last summer with his biggest hit “I’m yours”, but I have been listening and appreciating Mraz work for at least 4 years now.

A good friend of mine, another brilliant artist – Jay Vaquer (check him out, specially you Portuguese speakers: told me about a old website called Pandora, where you could listen to free music and check new artists or similar artists, and since Jay and I shared such a similar musical taste we used to advice each others artists and songs, and well, we found Mraz. Since then he became one of my treasured artists.

I saw him live a few times already, and I have to confess that all of them were astonishing and I could describe them as religious experiences (not in a fanatical and sick way tho ahahah). I can’t even say that he is getting better or worst ... he was just perfect in each one of the gigs. Just in a space of one year I saw him 3 times and the set lists were completely different, the shows totally original and the public always go mental.

Marit Larsen started off the night charmingly. Mraz actually came on stage to introduce her... he always do that, which I find very sweet and humble. I have attended so many shows all my life and never saw a headliner come on stage to introduce the guests.

The set list was just marvellous as always. I wasn’t expecting some of the songs at all, and missed some other ones, but the highlight of the show for me was with the opening song. I could hardly believe he was playing that song, probably one of my top 5 songs ever, but I have been convincing myself for years that I wouldn’t never be able to listen it live because he doesn’t really play it. It’s a song from his second album which wasn’t even a single: “Song for a Friend”. One of the most beautiful songs I ever heard, and there he was, right in front of me, singing it! A dream comes true!

Life can be so wonderful, you just need to seek happiness and believe in yourself, no matter how hard it seems and even when everything goes wrong and you just feel like giving up. And I feel happy! Last night when I was seeing the show I was thinking, here I am, in London, my place! And I have made it, I am here! I am in London and I am watching Jason Mraz. Wow, I am lucky indeed! Life should be about living and make the most of it. So here I am, having my fun, and enjoying my life. I was starting to have one of those dull moments where you kinda loose the strength, but last night show was the perfect remedy to it, so I just need to concentrate in how wonderful life can be, and I will appreciate every second of it. No regrets, no sadness, no worry, its an obligation to live life fully, and I'll do my best to fulfill it.

And as for Jason Mraz, after an amazing set and performance were around 9,000 smiley faces were standing and clapping their hands for more then 5minutes, after the shows was finished, I believe he must feel very happy and also believe that “Life is Wonderful”.

Thursday, 26 March 2009

Family Sweet Family...

Hello Everyone =)
First of all I would like to thank you all! I have been receive a great feedback and I am quite surprise how fast this blog is been spreading and how many people actually read my first post.
I know that I always write a lot, and I thought that would put you off, (and certainly I put many of you :p ) but that's how I am, still, many people, people that I don't even have much contact, read it and have being supporting me, and I am really grateful, plus its a great way to keep in touch.
For those that told me that cant follow because don't have a Gmail account, well, I know, basically this blog belongs to google, like everything else.. very useful to be honest, Gmail is the best email I had. Anyway, you can still comment without having a Gmail account, or I can get your feedback on my facebook link or the private messages like some of you sent!

I didn't mean to worry anyone, and thank to all for the prayers, nice words and the support.

Vanessa is ok.
We didn't find her (yet), but she had the minimal decency of calling my cousin Bryan to tell that she was ok, she appreciates all that my auntie did for her, and that she loved her "brothers/sisters" very much but she wanted to start a new life (?!!?!?!) and asked us to stop looking for her, because she is ok (??!!!??)

This is very disturbing and sad... well, also very disappointing.
Obviously my auntie Tessy is not being able to sleep and she is being wondering herself where the hell did she fail... she spent more then 10 years trying to be like a mother to Vanessa and she left like that (I can feel my aunties pain)... Vanessa don't even want to come back for her clothes and documents. And as I said before, she canceled her phone, so there's no way we can reach her.

I am very upset at her... she shouldn't be doing this to us.
I am a psychologist myself, and used to work with problematic children/teens, and there's no formula to solve this situation. We just can wait. Hopefully she will be back soon and learn some lesson with this "adventure"! I wish I could help her...

In the mean time, my sister Dana and my cousin Brianne (Vanessa "sister") are in the town. They came to visit me for the weekend. They arrived last night at 2am and we have been speaking until 5am. I am so but so happy they are here, but obviously we have been talking about Vanessa a lot.
This can sound selfish, but we decided that we are gonna ignore that subject for a while, at least while they are here, since there's nothing that we can do. We all missed each other and its great be able of being all together again, this time in my city, London. I want to show them my world, my life, my things and my new dreams.

We have a mission: have a good time and enjoy each others company.
And that's what we are going to try to do.

Isn't family the best thing we have???
I am very fortunate to have such an amazing one, and I love them to death!

Have a great weekend you all,
I'm sure I will =)


Monday, 23 March 2009

A new start? For me or for her....

Wow, after more then a decade of “cybering” around, and enjoying the pleasures of ICQs, MSNs, Yahoos, all sort of musical forums or travelling-hospitality websites, and the usual Orkuts, My Spaces, Hi5s, Linkedins, Facebooks and Twitters of life, I finally decide to create a blog.
A blog... how could I just start now?

All my life I have been writing, first songs, then my diaries (that I keep religiously since I was 15) and as much as I read, more I want to write.. I want to write a book (many actually)… about what? .. ohhh so many things are crossing my mind. I would love to write about subjects that I believe and would like to share my perception with the world… some of my friends also joke that I should write about my life, since everything that happens to me is very “movieish” ... and is true, there is always something rather different going on in my life, which is pretty entertaining, still, its actually impossible to share everything that happens to me all the time… ahah to be honest, some of my friends follow my life but for that I need to call them almost every day to update them the news…
Anyway, no, unfortunately I don’t have the time to write my memories at the moment (plus I am just 26 :p ) neither time to write about anything else that I would like to share, like my vision on Bisexual relationships :p (no time for research)… still, after a walk in Regents Park last Sunday with my friend Manya, she suggested me to start a blog.
She says my life is too exciting and I should update it online, for people like her be able to fallow it, instead of having me calling her everyday to tell her whats going on.

So here I am, I give it a thought and why not?
I believe that could be interesting, still not really sure how much I want to turn this public… not that I am afraid for me, I have been always like an open book, you ask I answer, I am trully transparent (which can be a problem, but this post isnt about that)... but maybe because I want to share topics that will involve other people.. so made a decision that I would always change the name of the people that I will refer in here. Its not on my right to share their life, so I will try to keep my friends as more anonymous as possible, specially because the main reason I am writing this blog today (even being my first) is because I can not stop thinking in what I have found out last night… it’s a huge deal to me to talk about it, but I do need it, and maybe because I am creating this blog to share my happiness with you all, but also my pain, my doubts and share about what I am not sure about, and what I am afraid about.

So my post today, is about being disappointed and about the frustration of not being able to help as much as I would like.

It's also about adoption and what an adopted child really feels when has to share a mother with her 3 own children...

Well, is about someone that is like family to me, and for you all that really know me, know how much important family is to me, that was adopted for one of the dearest person in my family, and now... she ran away! Vanessa left.

Vanessa simply left home. She is a teenager, 17 years old, but still very immature and now she is gone. She is been living with my auntie Tessy for more then 10 years now, after she legally adopted her (she was sent to a orphanage when the social services took the custody of her biological mother, so my auntie and my uncle Dave (RIP) - they are Vanessa's Godmother and Godfather, decided to add her to the family, even having 3 biological children).
She simply disappeared leaving the house with just what she had with her! No documents, no extra clothes or even a coat, no keys, just her phone (but no recharger).

No one at her house was taking her very seriously, so it was kept as a secret, (which I am still mad at them) apparently they though she went to a friend and would come back later.. maximum, sleep over there just to scare us all a bit and that would be it, she would return... specially because she never did something like this before...

Unfortunately that isn't what is happening... its the third day that she is being disappeared, and we are all very worried because we don't know what else to do. The police is trying to help but nothing new!
Her phone was off yesterday, but now, the message that we get is that her number is no longer in service. This is obviously very concerning, because she even cancel her phone account. So we don't know how to reach her anymore!
And no, for those that are thinking "just find her on facebook and send her a email", nop, Vanessa is not on facebook and she is not into "cybering" like I am, so I don't even have an email account where I can send a email to her, plus, is she somewhere where can reach an Internet connection? She didn't even had any money with her when she left...

But now, here I am, in London, far away from them, and feeling frustrated that I cant do more to help to find her. Usually I would be the one getting in the car and not going back to bed until everything would be sorted out... not that my family isn't worried enough or doing nothing, but I guess they aren't fighters... I just wish I could be there right now... I want to find Vanessa, and help her! She needs help now...

About why she left... well, maybe I should talk about it in a new post, after she returns, sound and safe! I still need to find why.. why she left!?!
Let's keep the hope :)