Thursday, 26 March 2009

Family Sweet Family...

Hello Everyone =)
First of all I would like to thank you all! I have been receive a great feedback and I am quite surprise how fast this blog is been spreading and how many people actually read my first post.
I know that I always write a lot, and I thought that would put you off, (and certainly I put many of you :p ) but that's how I am, still, many people, people that I don't even have much contact, read it and have being supporting me, and I am really grateful, plus its a great way to keep in touch.
For those that told me that cant follow because don't have a Gmail account, well, I know, basically this blog belongs to google, like everything else.. very useful to be honest, Gmail is the best email I had. Anyway, you can still comment without having a Gmail account, or I can get your feedback on my facebook link or the private messages like some of you sent!

I didn't mean to worry anyone, and thank to all for the prayers, nice words and the support.

Vanessa is ok.
We didn't find her (yet), but she had the minimal decency of calling my cousin Bryan to tell that she was ok, she appreciates all that my auntie did for her, and that she loved her "brothers/sisters" very much but she wanted to start a new life (?!!?!?!) and asked us to stop looking for her, because she is ok (??!!!??)

This is very disturbing and sad... well, also very disappointing.
Obviously my auntie Tessy is not being able to sleep and she is being wondering herself where the hell did she fail... she spent more then 10 years trying to be like a mother to Vanessa and she left like that (I can feel my aunties pain)... Vanessa don't even want to come back for her clothes and documents. And as I said before, she canceled her phone, so there's no way we can reach her.

I am very upset at her... she shouldn't be doing this to us.
I am a psychologist myself, and used to work with problematic children/teens, and there's no formula to solve this situation. We just can wait. Hopefully she will be back soon and learn some lesson with this "adventure"! I wish I could help her...

In the mean time, my sister Dana and my cousin Brianne (Vanessa "sister") are in the town. They came to visit me for the weekend. They arrived last night at 2am and we have been speaking until 5am. I am so but so happy they are here, but obviously we have been talking about Vanessa a lot.
This can sound selfish, but we decided that we are gonna ignore that subject for a while, at least while they are here, since there's nothing that we can do. We all missed each other and its great be able of being all together again, this time in my city, London. I want to show them my world, my life, my things and my new dreams.

We have a mission: have a good time and enjoy each others company.
And that's what we are going to try to do.

Isn't family the best thing we have???
I am very fortunate to have such an amazing one, and I love them to death!

Have a great weekend you all,
I'm sure I will =)


Monday, 23 March 2009

A new start? For me or for her....

Wow, after more then a decade of “cybering” around, and enjoying the pleasures of ICQs, MSNs, Yahoos, all sort of musical forums or travelling-hospitality websites, and the usual Orkuts, My Spaces, Hi5s, Linkedins, Facebooks and Twitters of life, I finally decide to create a blog.
A blog... how could I just start now?

All my life I have been writing, first songs, then my diaries (that I keep religiously since I was 15) and as much as I read, more I want to write.. I want to write a book (many actually)… about what? .. ohhh so many things are crossing my mind. I would love to write about subjects that I believe and would like to share my perception with the world… some of my friends also joke that I should write about my life, since everything that happens to me is very “movieish” ... and is true, there is always something rather different going on in my life, which is pretty entertaining, still, its actually impossible to share everything that happens to me all the time… ahah to be honest, some of my friends follow my life but for that I need to call them almost every day to update them the news…
Anyway, no, unfortunately I don’t have the time to write my memories at the moment (plus I am just 26 :p ) neither time to write about anything else that I would like to share, like my vision on Bisexual relationships :p (no time for research)… still, after a walk in Regents Park last Sunday with my friend Manya, she suggested me to start a blog.
She says my life is too exciting and I should update it online, for people like her be able to fallow it, instead of having me calling her everyday to tell her whats going on.

So here I am, I give it a thought and why not?
I believe that could be interesting, still not really sure how much I want to turn this public… not that I am afraid for me, I have been always like an open book, you ask I answer, I am trully transparent (which can be a problem, but this post isnt about that)... but maybe because I want to share topics that will involve other people.. so made a decision that I would always change the name of the people that I will refer in here. Its not on my right to share their life, so I will try to keep my friends as more anonymous as possible, specially because the main reason I am writing this blog today (even being my first) is because I can not stop thinking in what I have found out last night… it’s a huge deal to me to talk about it, but I do need it, and maybe because I am creating this blog to share my happiness with you all, but also my pain, my doubts and share about what I am not sure about, and what I am afraid about.

So my post today, is about being disappointed and about the frustration of not being able to help as much as I would like.

It's also about adoption and what an adopted child really feels when has to share a mother with her 3 own children...

Well, is about someone that is like family to me, and for you all that really know me, know how much important family is to me, that was adopted for one of the dearest person in my family, and now... she ran away! Vanessa left.

Vanessa simply left home. She is a teenager, 17 years old, but still very immature and now she is gone. She is been living with my auntie Tessy for more then 10 years now, after she legally adopted her (she was sent to a orphanage when the social services took the custody of her biological mother, so my auntie and my uncle Dave (RIP) - they are Vanessa's Godmother and Godfather, decided to add her to the family, even having 3 biological children).
She simply disappeared leaving the house with just what she had with her! No documents, no extra clothes or even a coat, no keys, just her phone (but no recharger).

No one at her house was taking her very seriously, so it was kept as a secret, (which I am still mad at them) apparently they though she went to a friend and would come back later.. maximum, sleep over there just to scare us all a bit and that would be it, she would return... specially because she never did something like this before...

Unfortunately that isn't what is happening... its the third day that she is being disappeared, and we are all very worried because we don't know what else to do. The police is trying to help but nothing new!
Her phone was off yesterday, but now, the message that we get is that her number is no longer in service. This is obviously very concerning, because she even cancel her phone account. So we don't know how to reach her anymore!
And no, for those that are thinking "just find her on facebook and send her a email", nop, Vanessa is not on facebook and she is not into "cybering" like I am, so I don't even have an email account where I can send a email to her, plus, is she somewhere where can reach an Internet connection? She didn't even had any money with her when she left...

But now, here I am, in London, far away from them, and feeling frustrated that I cant do more to help to find her. Usually I would be the one getting in the car and not going back to bed until everything would be sorted out... not that my family isn't worried enough or doing nothing, but I guess they aren't fighters... I just wish I could be there right now... I want to find Vanessa, and help her! She needs help now...

About why she left... well, maybe I should talk about it in a new post, after she returns, sound and safe! I still need to find why.. why she left!?!
Let's keep the hope :)